Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
