i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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