Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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