i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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