Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
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Do I have a choice?
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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