I don't think brook has ever known best
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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