Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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