8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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