god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
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Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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