Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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