my room smells like sperm. sweet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
