Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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