found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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