Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
