meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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