PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
