trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
