there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Someone shattered a urinal.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
