Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
