You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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