It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
