laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He better not be in your backpack
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
