i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
