Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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