I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize