I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
