he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
