end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
