oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
