so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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