If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
