I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
