so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize