dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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