I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
