quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i will never coherently bang her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
