I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
