What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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