The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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