You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's Friday. Sex?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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