She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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