Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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