Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have grass duct taped all over my body
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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