Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Text me some of your sweat
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