I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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