Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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