he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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