Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
