I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
