I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
