he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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