I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just forgot I was standing up.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
