If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
