ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
