Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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