So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Randomize
