I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
