You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
