and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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