final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
