So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
where am i from again
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
