I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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