Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
