I'm eating all of the evidence.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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