there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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